"You know Mary Ann there are times when I... when I wake up in the morning and I look at this guy in the mirror and I say "What the hell are you doing with your life frank?" and you know something, son of a bitch never answers me! - Frank

"I want a ninja. Find me a ninja. I want Lander's land!" - Venarius

"I don't like to be followed!" - Cole

If you ever watched ninja movies growing up in the 80s, chances are you are familiar with Sho Kosugi. Along with REVENGE OF THE NINJA, these were two of the most fantastic ninja movies I can remember. There were a few more of course, but these were two highlights for me. This one also has Franco Nero! Man he played everything! Those two dudes in a little kid who's eaten too much candy's dream flick, ENTER THE NINJA!!!

So Franco Nero plays Cole, a serious badass white dude who becomes a ninja. Everyone is super psyched for him in Japan except for this other badass dude within his dojo. That dudes name is Hasegawa, and he is the "black ninja" as opposed to Cole's "white ninja" getup. None of this shit is lost on kids who grew up watching this a few years after its release who were heavy into G.I. Joe. It was like Stormshadow vs. Snake Eyes in real life. Cole was a veteran though and after the Bush War he went to see his old buddy that he saved during the war who now owns a farm in the Philippines. No idea why. Unless he heard his old buddy just married a SUPER hot chick who is totally not faithful. And he's a scumbag. Maybe that had something to do with it.
So yeah his buddy Landers has married this head strong super hot babe. But Landers himself is kind of a pussy. He's getting bullied by a local mob goon. Little does he know that his farm has a huge oil deposit somewhere on it that the mob goon's boss is after. So Cole rolls into town and he's not scared of any mob goons. He's a genuine fucking ninja. A white one too, which just means those dudes ain't expecting that shit. Cole starts pushing back against the goons. Landers has been getting his ass kicked and mentions that he hasn't been banging his wife. So she shows up to Cole's room in a slinky little night gown one night, and then we're supposed to still buy Cole as a good guy. Didn't really feel so good about him, but I guess he is saving the farm and their lives, so....
So Venarius, the mob boss who owns most of the Philippines by now keeps turning up the heat on the Landers and Cole keeps turning on the ass-kicking. Every time Venarius sends more and more thugs to beat up and take control of Lander's land, and every time Cole beats them to a pulp. So Venarius starts to get pissed and finds out that Cole is a ninja, so he tells his dude to hire him a ninja then. So Venarius's dude travels all the way to Japan and looks to hire a ninja. And wouldn't you know it, he goes EXACTLY to the spot that Cole trained at and gets the ONE DUDE who hates Cole's guts. Hasegawa.

So, somehow Lander's gets killed, and then Cole is bound and determined to kill them all and get retribution. It takes the whole rest of the movie for him and his arch nemesis rival to fight it out to the finish, with Venarius trying to rig the outcome the whole way. Does Cole save the farm for his dead friend and his dead friend's hot wife? You'll have to try and find this one and find out. This was a super awesome flick and sort of started the ninja craze of the 80s. After this one Sho Kosugi did REVENGE OF THE NINJA and NINJA III: THE DOMINATION. I recommend them all.

Saturday, May 3, 2014

Bad/Awesome Flixxx Review: Enter the Ninja (1981)